What were you wearing???
This question is often asked of survivors of sexual assault.
This question perpetuates victim-blaming and calls into question the actions of the victims rather than the perpetrators.
Bright Horizons and Community Libraries are providing a Powerful Visual Answer to The Question ‘What Were You Wearing?’
These displays prove that clothing has nothing to do with sexual assault!
Keep an eye out for these displays in your community libraries.
What I was Wearing ~ Mary Simmerling
The poem that inspired these displays nationwide.
What I was Wearing
was this:
from the top
a white t-shirt
cotton
short-sleeved
and round at the neck
this was tucked into
a jean skirt
(also cotton)
ending just above the knees
and belted at the top
underneath all this
was a white cotton bra
and white underpants
(though probably not a set)
on my feet
white tennis shoes
the kind one plays tennis in
and then finally
silver earrings, and lip gloss.
this is what i was wearing
that day
that night
that fourth of july
in 1987.
you may be wondering
why this matters
or even how i remember
every item
in such detail
you see
i have been asked this question
many times
it has been called to my mind
many times
this question
this answer
these details.
but my answer
much awaited
much anticipated
seems flat somehow
given the rest of the details
of that night
during which
at some point
i was raped.
and i wonder
what answer
what details
would give comfort
could give comfort
to you
my questioners
seeking comfort where
there is
alas
no comfort
to be found.
if only it were so simple
if only we could
end rape
by simply changing clothes.
i remember also
what he was wearing
that night
even though
it’s true
that no one
has ever asked.