If you find yourself with an abusive partner, it is not uncommon to wonder: why are they choosing to behave and act as they do?

There is no excuse for domestic violence or abuse. Abuse is one partner exerting control and power over the other. But how can someone who says they love you abuse you? What are some of the different control tactics? Should you hold out any hope an abuser can change?

We’ve prepared a toolkit to help you understand why perpetrators abuse, and the indicators of potential abuse. You can download the toolkit here, or by using the pink VIEW TOOLKIT button above.

Inside you’ll find links to helpful articles, recommended books, checklists, relevant survivor survey results, support communities and how to find help.

Remember, there is no justification for an abusive partner.